


Settle

by liveinfury



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, some kind of wonderful AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-06-09 12:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6905728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveinfury/pseuds/liveinfury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What’s up with you, man?” Kaner asks, looking at his best friend with worry.</p><p>“I-I think I’m gonna ask him out,” Jonny says, excitedly.</p><p>Kaner can feel his face fall as the humor he found in the situation evaporates. “Now?”</p><p>Jonny doesn’t wait to answer, he practically runs out of the arcade after Oshie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on one of my favorite movies, Some Kind of Wonderful. I tried to resemble it without completely following it scene by scene.

Jonny closes the car door and walks around to join Kaner.

“Your driving is getting better,” Kaner says as they navigate their way through crowds of kids idling around outside before the bell rings.

“I’m getting a lot of practice from driving your ass around all the time,” Jonny says, lightly punching Kaner in the shoulder.

“Ow, asshole! I bruise easily,” Kaner jokes, rubbing his shoulder.

“So, have you talked to your dad about UND yet?” Kaner asks as they approach Jonny’s locker.

Jonny grimaces in response. The idea of talking to his dad about college turns his stomach. 

“I’m going to take that as a no. Jonny, if that’s where you want to go, you have to try and convince him why it’s so important to you,” Kaner says, slamming his locker shut for him after he gets all his books out.

“He won’t listen, he never does when it comes to what I want,” Jonny replies. They make their way to Kaner’s locker next.

“He’s just looking out for you. If you explain your side to him, I think he’d get it,” Kaner says, digging through the mess in his locker for his textbooks. He drops his most recent reading material on the ground so that he can use both hands for the expedition. 

“What’s this?” some guy asks from behind them, he reaches down and grabs Kaner’s book.

“Hey! Give that back!” Kaner shouts, face set in an angry scowl. He goes up to the guy to grab the book, but the guy just raises it higher. Kaner starts jumping to grab at it and Jonny doesn’t know why he even let it go on this long. 

He rushes over to them and sets his laser eyes on the guy while gritting his teeth. “Give him back the book,” Jonny barks.

The guy hesitates, the laughter from his face disappearing. When he continues to hold on to the book, Jonny lets out a growl. The guy immediately drops it and starts to power walk away.

Kaner picks the book up and examines it. “It’s still in good condition,” he says, shrugging.

Jonny’s still looking after the direction the guy went and Kaner must notice because he pulls at Jonny’s sleeve. “C’mon, Jonny. Bell’s about to ring, let it go.”

Jonny growls again and turns to face Kaner. “Fine,” he grumbles.

They head to homeroom and try to avoid any unwanted attention. They aren’t complete social burnouts, but they don’t really have any close friends besides each other, people seem to think that’s weird. Kaner has a rep of being a nerd because of his love for books and Jonny’s viewed as overly serious and socially awkward. His hockey team only tolerates him because he’s good and helps them win, but outside of the rink, they don’t acknowledge each other much. 

“Fuck that guy,” Jonny says. “I think it’s cool you’re into books and you think it’s cool I’m into hockey. We have each other and that’s all that matters, it’s perfect that we’re friends.”

Kaner blushes and nods in agreement.

*

Jonny has study hall third period which is largely spent roaming the halls or in the library on the off chance that Kaner can sneak out of gym and join him.

Today he’s in the library scribbling down plays. His team has a game in a few days and he’s thinking of ways to boost their defensive skills, something the team as a whole seems to be lacking.

He glances up every now and then tries not to stare too long at T.J. Oshie. T.J.’s a popular football player, and completely out of Jonny’s league. He used to be on Jonny and Kaner’s social level before high school. They were never all friends, but the idea that they shared similar upbringings was still there.

Jonny would be lying if he said he didn’t find T.J. attractive. He admires his gently tousled brown hair, light blue eyes, and muscular build. Whenever Jonny sees T.J.’s smile, pleasing warmth travels through his body.

T.J. catches Jonny’s eyes the next time he looks up and holds his gaze, the ends of his mouth turning up slowly. Jonny’s about to smile back or maybe wave like a loser when David Backes, T.J.’s boyfriend, plops down on the seat across from T.J.

Jonny immediately looks down at his plays. He tries to focus on hockey, but he can hear the two of them giggling and flirting. Jonny risks a glance again and sees them leaning over the table to each other, Backes’ hand pulling T.J. in by his neck. Jonny looks away again, he doesn’t need to see his crush making out with his boyfriend. 

Jonny’s very aware that liking a guy with a boyfriend is the stupidest thing you can do, especially when you can’t even compete with said boyfriend. But Backes is an asshole and Jonny thinks T.J. will figure it out soon enough, if he hasn’t already.

T.J. leaves after a few minutes, kissing Backes goodbye.

Now that his eye candy is gone and Kaner’s clearing not ditching gym again, Jonny, in a huff, closes his notebook and goes to put some hockey books he pulled out earlier back on the shelf. Maybe he’ll look around and checkout some books for Kaner. 

He’s putting back the books in the practically abandoned sports psychology area, when he hears noises close by. He peers through an empty slot in between books to see Backes, face just inches away from another boy’s, in the next aisle over. 

“Babe, no one can know just how special you are to me, okay?” Backes whispers to the sophomore, Jonny thinks his name is Vladimir Tara-something. The sophomore blushes and Backes ducks down to kiss his cheek just as T.J. appears at the end of the aisle, fury and rage oozing out of him.

T.J. stomps down the aisle and slots a book into place on a shelf. He turns his cold glare on his boyfriend and the sophomore.

Tarasenko shrinks in on himself and hurries away. Backes decides to go for the ‘it’s not what it looks like’ route. 

“That wasn’t what you think, babe,” Backes says, walking over to T.J. and squeezing his shoulder.

T.J. tries to shrug him off and continues to glare.

“Oh c’mon, T.J., don’t be like this. I was helping him find a book and he had an eyelash on his cheek, I was just getting it for him,” Backes lies through his teeth.

Jonny scoffs internally, if Backes was going to lie, he should at least make it believable. Apparently it is believable because T.J.’s glare softens and he sighs.

“We’re still hanging out after school, right?” Backes asks, hunching down to look into T.J.’s eyes.

T.J. smiles and nods his head. “Yeah,” he says, reaching up and squeezing Backes’ hand that rests on his shoulder. 

Jonny’s in awe over the entire conversation. He doesn’t believe T.J. could be this oblivious or naïve. An uncomfortable feeling of hurt and disappointment passes through him. He almost had a chance, but T.J. seems to believe only what he wants to believe. 

Backes kisses T.J.’s cheek, eerily similar to how he kissed Vladimir, and turns to leave.

T.J. takes a deep breath and looks around at the shelves. He locks eyes with Jonny, who is peeking through a space between two books, and freezes. Jonny fumbles for words, he ends up nodding at T.J. and briskly walking away.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaner closes his book just as practice comes to an end. The entire team makes their way into the locker room except for Jonny, who stays out on the ice as usual.

Kaner stomps down the bleachers and goes over to his usual spot on the bench to talk to Jonny. On his way, he gets a few head nods and half smiles from some of Jonny’s teammates. That’s not particularly unusual, but it still always throws Kaner off. The guys aren’t close with Jonny or him, but they aren’t entirely rude or mean either. He doesn’t understand why Jonny’s never attempted to become friends with them.

He sits down on the bench and watches Jonny do some extra drills. He chimes in with his opinions on Jonny’s posture and timing, but Jonny just skates up to the bench and turns at the last second, showering Kaner with ice.

“I’m just trying to help,” he mutters, shaking off the ice.

“You always say the same things, Kaner,” Jonny says, going back to his drills.

“That’s because you’re not working on them!”

Jonny shakes his head. “Will you come out here? I wanna practice passing,” Jonny asks.

“You’re great at passing, dude. Besides, I didn’t bring my skates today,” he says.

After a while, Jonny takes a break and skates over to the bench for water. He grabs his Gatorade bottle and playfully squirts some at Kaner.

“So guess what I saw earlier?” Jonny asks as Kaner wipes the water off his face.

“That better be a rhetorical question because the answer can be anything,” he says, narrowing his eyes at Jonny.

“I was at the library and T.J. and Backes were there,” Jonny explains. “T.J. left and I saw Backes flirting with a sophomore, then T.J. came back and practically caught them.”

“They broke up?” 

“Nah, don’t think so, but I can tell it’ll be any day now,” Jonny says with a smile.

Kaner tries to listen to him spew some more stuff about Oshie and Backes’ relationship, but it’s hard to hear with his heart pounding so loudly in his ears. _Any day now._

“I think I might finally get a chance to ask T.J. out.” These words make it through to Kaner and he hears them loud and clear.

Kaner has never understood Jonny’s fascination with Oshie. 

“I don’t get why you like him,” he says, voicing his thoughts. “He’s a total follower and overly dependent on his boyfriend or his friends, it’s ridiculous.”

Oshie is nothing like Jonny or himself, how can Jonny even like someone like that? Kaner’s come to the conclusion that Jonny’s after him for his looks, which, let’s be honest, aren’t that great.

“Kaner, knock it off,” Jonny warns. “He is independent, he’s a great person.”

“Oh and you would know? I bet you could count on your fingers the amount of times he’s talked to you,” Kaner says, sitting up and squaring his shoulders for a verbal fight.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know him,” Jonny says, narrowing his eyes.

“That’s just creepy, dude.”

“You’re just jealous,” Jonny says, smugly.

Kaner can feel himself flinch at the words. For a second, he panics. Does Jonny know? Why has he never said anything? Is it that obvious?

“What? No, me? No,” he manages to stutter out.

Jonny smiles and reaches over to ruffle his curls. “You’re scared that if I start dating T.J., then I won’t have time for you.”

Kaner feels the tension leave his body. Jonny doesn’t know anything.

“I don’t think that at all, but whatever,” Kaner lies. “In order for that to happen you actually have to ask him out and he has to say yes, which he wouldn’t in a million years, so good luck with that.”

Jonny opens his mouth to respond, but other voices fill the air.

Kaner glances over and sees Oshie and Backes walk through the doors. Backes is practically pulling Oshie by the hand. They’re dressed as if they’re going to the pool which is connected to the other side of the rink in the community center. You can get to the pool through the front entrance, it’s clear that they deliberately went out of their way to get there.

“Well look who it is,” Backes says, coming up to the edge of the glass. “The loser who can’t keep his eyes off of my boyfriend.”

Jonny doesn’t respond, he continues to look at Kaner instead.

“Hey, you fucking robot, I’m talking to you!” Backes shouts, fists pounding on the glass.

Kaner can’t stand not saying anything. “Shut the fuck up!” he shouts, standing up.

“Mind your own business, midget!” Backes yells back.

Kaner notices Oshie trying to tug his hand out of Backes grasp, but not saying a single thing to stop him. When it’s clear that Jonny’s not going to respond or even look at them, Backes seems to give up and leaves through the doors at the other end of the room, dragging Oshie with him.

Kaner turns to Jonny. “That’s the type of person you want to be with?”

“He’s not the one who was saying shit,” Jonny mumbles, staring at his skates.

“Guilty by association,” Kaner says. “Haven’t you heard of the saying, ‘you are the company that you keep’?”

Jonny doesn’t say anything for a few seconds but then starts to laugh. “Fuck, what does that say about me?” he jokes, skating away.

Kaner barks out a fake laugh and settles back down to read.

*

Jonny chews on a fry as he tries not to grit his teeth in annoyance. T.J. is practically sitting on Backes’ lap, held in place by his arms. Backes keeps kissing his neck every few seconds and it’s been driving Jonny crazy throughout the entire lunch period.

“Jonny, stop staring, it’s nauseating,” Kaner says from across the table.

Jonny tears his eyes away from the couple to look at his best friend.

“Backes is the one who’s nauseating,” Jonny grumbles. He really thought T.J. would have broken up with the guy by now.

“And yet Oshie’s still with him,” Kaner says, repeating Jonny’s own thoughts. “You’re crazy.”

“You just don’t get it,” he says, shaking his head. Kaner’s never had a crush in his life, the guy only loves his books. He doesn’t understand the ache of wanting someone and not being able to have them.

“Don’t I?” Kaner asks.

“What? You like someone?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. This is the first he’s ever heard of it.

Kaner scoffs. “Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean you know everything about me,” he says, refusing to meet Jonny’s gaze.

Jonny doesn’t push him to get answers, he figures Kaner’s just saying that to get a reaction out of him. He rolls his eyes and shoves another stale fry in his mouth.

*

It’s almost midnight when Kaner finally decides to put his book away, it’s just getting to the good part, but he needs his sleep. He gets up to tug his shirt and pants off when his eyes wander to his full length mirror.

He goes to stand in front of it, in just his boxers. He starts to examine himself starting from his feet and making his way up.

He’s shorter than most guys. He’s an average weight, he doesn’t have any muscles. His stomach is flat, due to his fast metabolism, not from rigorous exercise, and his collarbone is pointy. 

Oshie’s a lot taller, though not as tall as Jonny. Oshie’s also got muscles and a solid body from playing football. He has broad shoulders and a long torso.

Kaner doesn’t bother examining and comparing his face to Oshie’s, he’s already done that before.

Kaner knows he doesn’t dress like normal kids at school. He wears basketball shorts and oversized shirts because they make him feel comfortable. But that’s not the type of person Jonny likes; it’s not the look that’ll get him Jonny. 

Kaner takes one last look at himself in the mirror before he crawls into bed. He’s come to terms with the fact that he’s not going to change for anyone, not even for the boy he’s in love with.

*

Jonny’s at Kaner’s house, getting help on his calculus homework. Kaner’s a whiz at math and watching him work out problems is pretty captivating.

Kaner has such an intense focus. His eyes narrow, his eyebrows scrunch up, and his tongue sticks out. Jonny thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.

After Jonny gets the last problem by himself, Kaner applauds him and jumps onto his bed.

They sit in silence for a while. Jonny goes to join Kaner on the bed, lying down next to him.

“So I was thinking,” Kaner breaks the silence. “If you only want Oshie for sex reasons, then y’know, I can help with that. I mean, biologically speaking, I am a male. All my male parts are fully functional, ask my right hand,” he says, awkwardly laughing at the end.

Jonny is taken aback by the suggestion. He doesn’t even know how to process what he just heard, Kaner offering to have sex with him because he thinks that’s why he’s after T.J.?

“Um thanks, but that’s not why I want to be with him,” Jonny says. He’s not lying, he actually likes T.J., and not just for his looks or popularity. Jonny sees goodness in T.J. that Kaner refuses to notice. T.J.’s a good guy surrounded by bad people.

“Oh, right. Well, just thought I’d offer, y’know because we’re best friends and gay,” Kaner says, quietly.

“Yeah, thanks, but I’m good,” Jonny replies. He’s appreciative of Kaner, he does so much for Jonny, but he draws the line at pity sex.

Jonny thinks Kaner is objectively hot, in his own way. His curly hair is adorable, and his big smile and blue eyes are truly endearing. But because they’re friends, he’s locked that shit down a long time ago.


	3. Chapter 3

“Just give up, Jonny,” Kaner says. “There’s no way you’re beating my high score.”

Jonny huffs as the GAME OVER sign blinks on the screen. “This game is stupid,” he grumbles.

Kaner fist pumps at his loss. “You’re just jealous,” he says, shoving Jonny aside and grabbing the plastic gun.

They’ve spent a good hour at the arcade, trying to beat all the high scores they can. Kaner’s mastered the hunting game and Jonny’s spent the whole time being frustrated that he can’t even crack the top ten on the scoreboard.

Kaner shoots almost a perfect score again, making himself third on the scoreboard. He turns to Jonny and sticks his tongue out.

Jonny glares at him in return and then breaks out into a chuckle. “Do you come here without me and practice or something?” Jonny asks.

“How would I come here without you?” he asks. “We do everything together. I think you would know if I kept sneaking off to the arcade.”

Jonny grunts and walks over to the air hockey table. They play a few rounds and Kaner notices some of Jonny’s teammates are in the arcade. A few of them have taken over the hunting game, going crazy every few minutes. Kaner feels like he would get along with those guys. He thinks maybe there’s something he’s missing because logically, Jonny should be friends with them.

“Hey, so, why aren’t you friends with your teammates?” Kaner asks, resetting the puck in the middle of the table. “Do they not treat you right?”

Jonny shrugs. “No one’s tried to get to know me,” he answers. “They respect me as captain and everything, but no one’s actually bothered to be my friend.”

Kaner nods in understanding but he doesn’t tell Jonny that that’s a two way street. Maybe his teammates aren’t reaching out to him because Jonny makes it seem like he doesn’t want them to. 

He glances back over to the hunting game and sees one of Jonny’s alternative captain's, Sharpy, smiling at him and waving. Kaner awkwardly waves back, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

Jonny seems to notice his attention on something else and follow his gaze. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says, straightening his back.

Kaner’s confused at Jonny’s furious tone until he follows Jonny’s gaze to see it’s not on his teammates, but on Backes who just walked in with Tarasenko, an innocent sophomore who doesn’t know any better.

Kaner and Jonny silently watch Backes lead Tarasenko to the ski ball section. Tarasenko rolls a few duds so Backes gets behind him and adjusts his form. His hands linger on the kid’s hips and arms.

Kaner wrenches his eyes away from the two and looks at Jonny.

Jonny’s still staring at them, hands fisted and clenching at his sides. Kaner resists the urge to roll his eyes. He retrieves the puck from where it’s floating by Jonny’s side of the table and sets it in the middle.

“Are we playing or what?” he asks, startling Jonny out of his thoughts.

Jonny mumbles out a confirmation and brings his attention back to Kaner and the game.

Not a few seconds pass before Jonny freezes up and stares at the front of the arcade again. Kaner looks over to see Oshie walking in with his friends, Elliot and Steen. Well, things just got interesting.

Kaner and Jonny watch intently as Oshie jokes around with his friends until he sees Backes practically groping Tarasenko. Oshie stops mid laughter and storms over to his boyfriend.

“What the fuck?” Oshie yells, pulling Backes away from Tarasenko.

Backes looks over to see who’s yanking him away and his eyes widen, he jumps away from Tarasenko. “Uh, he, uh,” Backes stutters, clearly struggling for words.

Kaner finds this really comical.

“What? I can’t hear you, asshole,” Oshie says, glaring.

Backes keeps glancing at Oshie and Tarasenko as if he’s hoping one of them would disappear.

“Fuck you. We’re over,” Oshie hisses. “For good this time.”

“You’re going to regret this!” Backes shouts after him. “You’re nothing without me!”

Kaner chuckles at the scene and Backes unoriginal remarks. He glances back over to Jonny to comment on Backes’ constipated face, but Jonny’s eyes are glued on Oshie. Jonny looks anxious and keeps bouncing on his toes.

“What’s up with you, man?” Kaner asks, looking at his best friend with worry.

“I-I think I’m gonna ask him out,” Jonny says, excitedly.

Kaner can feel his face fall as the humor he found in the situation evaporates. “Now?”

Jonny doesn’t wait to answer, he practically runs out of the arcade after Oshie. He catches him right outside of the entrance. 

Kaner witnesses the whole thing. Jonny taps Oshie on the shoulder and says something. Oshie looks confused and points in Kaner’s direction. Jonny follows his finger to where it’s pointing and laughs, shaking his head. They exchange a few more words and the confusion clears from Oshie’s face, it gets replaced with a blush. A few seconds later, Oshie shrugs his shoulders and nods his head at something Jonny says.

Kaner feels his stomach drop to a level it’s never been before and a feeling of dread starts coursing through his body.

Jonny rushes back inside and stops in front of Kaner with a grin. “He said yes, dude. He said yes!” Jonny shouts.

Kaner manages a smile. “That’s great,” he mutters, looking away from Jonny’s blinding grin. 

*

Jonny gets home from the arcade with a new spring in his step. He feels invincible, unstoppable. That is, until he walks into the living room and sees his dad holding an opened envelope from UND.

“What is this?” his dad asks, shaking the paper.

“An acceptance letter,” Jonny mutters.

“Why did you apply to UND?”

“They have a good hockey program,” he answers, looking at the floor.

“Hockey program? You’re not going to college for hockey, Jonathan.” 

“I want to,” Jonny says.

“Yeah? Well, I want to be a millionaire,” his dad shouts. “We don’t always get what we want.”

“It’s not your decision,” Jonny says.

“Like hell it’s not my decision!”

Jonny’s mom hurries into the room. “Boys! I will not have any yelling in this house!” she hypocritically yells.

“Whatever,” Jonny mumbles, escaping to his room.

He lies on his bed and glares at the ceiling. It’s frustrating that his dad doesn’t understand how important hockey is to him. His thoughts fall back on the arcade and T.J. agreeing to go on a date with him and his mood brightens up dramatically.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaner makes his way to the front of the school where he usually waits for Jonny for a ride home. He spots Sharpy sprawled out on the lawn and decides to approach him.

“Hey,” Kaner says, towering over him.

Sharpy squints at him, shielding his eyes from the sun. “Oh hey.”

“What are you doing?” Kaner asks.

“Waiting for Bur,” Sharpy answers. Kaner tries to put the name to a face, but he doesn’t think he knows anyone named Bur, first nor last names. Sharpy must sense his confusion because he amends himself, “Adam Burish.”

“Oh, right,” Kaner nods. Burish is another player on the team, and if Kaner is thinking of the right guy, then him and Sharpy are pretty close.

“You gonna sit?” Sharpy asks, closing his eyes.

“Sure,” Kaner says, sitting down next to him on the lawn.

Kaner takes the time to admire Sharpy’s features. He’s a handsome guy with deep blue eyes and prince-like hair. He looks like someone who belongs in a magazine or in the movies, not a senior in high school playing hockey and living an average life. Why does Jonny like someone like Oshie when people like Sharpy exist? Kaner thinks if Jonny had a crush on Sharpy, he’d be okay with it. Well, not okay with it, but it’d be a lot more understandable. This line of thought gives Kaner an idea.

“Um, so, are you seeing anyone?” Kaner asks.

Sharpy blinks at him again and then sits up on his elbows. “No, why?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I know you don’t know me or anything, but can you do me a favor?” Kaner asks.

“Depends,” Sharpy answers, waiting for Kaner to elaborate.

“Can you just pretend to flirt with me when Jonny comes to get me?” Kaner asks. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets them. The idea made sense in his head, who better to make Jonny jealous with than his hot alternate captain, but saying it out loud sounds stupid and pathetic.

Sharpy looks at him, confused. “Did you fight or break up?” Sharpy asks. “I don’t want to get in the middle of you and him. I don’t want any trouble.”

Kaner looks back at him with a similar expression of confusion. “We’re not dating. We never have.”

Sharpy stares at him. “So why do you want to make him jealous?”

Kaner sighs. “So that we can start dating,” he answers. “C’mon man, get with the program.”

He can see the moment Sharpy understands what’s going on, his ahah moment. Sharpy intently looks at Kaner and says, “Alright, I’ll help you get your man.”

Kaner blushes and struggles for words.

“Say thank you, Sharpy,” Sharpy says.

“Thank you, Sharpy.”

“I’d do anything to get the stick out of my captain’s ass,” Sharpy says, throwing an arm around Kaner’s shoulders and pulling him close. “I think a boyfriend might be a good solution.” 

Kaner realizes Jonny must be close by judging by Sharpy’s actions and tries to grin fondly at him.

“You’re cute, Kaner,” Sharpy says, rather loudly. 

Kaner knows it’s an empty compliment, probably a lie, but it still makes him blush and look away.

Jonny walks up to them, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, but he doesn’t look jealous or angry.

“Hey, Kaner,” Jonny says. “Anyway you can get a ride from someone else or walk home? I asked T.J. if I could drive him home so that we can discuss details of our date and stuff. I want to get to know him a little better.”

And just like that, the good mood from Sharpy’s compliment and conversation fades away and is replaced by the suffocating feeling he gets whenever Oshie’s name is mentioned. 

“Fine,” he mutters.

“Thanks, man,” Jonny says. “I owe you!”

“Can you give me a ride,” Kaner asks Sharpy, shyly. Jonny’s still there so Kaner tries to grin again and look at Sharpy with interest.

“Sure, I also gotta give Bur a ride too, but it’s cool,” Sharpy responds, ruffling Kaner’s hair.

Kaner smiles genuinely at the action, he doesn’t have a lot of positive social interactions at school, he’s pretty proud of this one.

He hears a squawk and looks up, he forgot Jonny was still there. “What?” he asks him.

Jonny’s eyes are narrowed on Sharpy and his lips are frim and thin. “Nothing, text me when you get home,” he grumbles and walks away. 

After Jonny’s out of sight, Sharpy pulls away. “Success?” he asks.

“Dunno,” Kaner replies, honestly. Jonny seemed pretty unfazed by the whole thing except at the end, but that could be explained by his anxiousness to see Oshie, or something. 

“Hey, Jonny’s boy!” Bur shouts with a grin, jogging over to where they’re waiting for him. 

Kaner grumbles and stands up.

“He’s no one’s boy,” Sharpy says, standing up too. “His name is Kaner, and he’s riding home with us.”

“Oh, cool,” Bur says, shrugging his shoulders. “Boys told me to tell you they’re going to the diner. If you’re not going, I’ll just hitch a ride with Soupy.”

“How do burgers and shakes sound, Kaner?” Sharpy asks, looking over at him.

He smiles at the both of them. “They sound good.”

*

Kaner’s got nothing better to do then go to the diner with Jonny’s teammates. It’s a good way to get to know them, and he thinks if he can become friends with them, then maybe Jonny can too. 

He’s sitting in a booth in between Sharpy and Saader. He thinks he’s gotten down all the nicknames; he’s got a pretty good memory.

“So, you know where you’re going next year?” Kaner asks Sharpy.

“Not sure, but leaning towards University of Texas at Dallas,” Sharpy says.

“That’s kinda far,” Kaner says.

“Yeah, but I think I need the change,” Sharpy says. “It’ll be good for me.”

Kaner nods in understanding, sometimes he thinks getting away is the best idea too. “What about you?” he asks Saader.

Saader blinks at him and says, “I’m a sophomore.”

Some of the guys laugh at this. “He looks older than he is,” Leddy explains.

“It’s why we call him Manchild,” Bollig adds. 

“Yeah, kinda like Tazer,” Sharpy says. “But for him it’s more in terms of personality than looks.”

Kaner nods in agreement. “Yeah, he’s got the mind and heart of a grandpa.” 

“A grandpa who needs to learn to unclench,” Burr says.

Kaner tries not to flinch at the words, he shouldn’t take offense on Jonny’s behalf. 

“He’s not so bad,” Kaner says, defending Jonny.

“Not with you, maybe,” Smitty grumbles.

“Just give Jonny a chance,” Kaner says. “He’s a good guy, and harmless. Don’t let that grumpy face throw you off.”

“I’m going to make it my mission to become friends with Tazer before the school year is over,” Sharpy says, grinning at everyone.

Bur snorts. “Good luck with that.”

“I’ve got an in now,” Sharpy says, slugging an arm around Kaner’s shoulder and jostling him.

Kaner grins up at him and then at the rest of the table. These guys are great, he doesn’t think it’s fair that Jonny gets them in his life on a constant basis and doesn’t do anything about it. Kaner’s struggle for making friends comes from his reputation as a nerd and a loser. He thinks if he had a group of guys willing to bond with him, he wouldn’t throw away the opportunity. Jonny’s an idiot for not seeing what’s in front of him.

*

Kaner’s waiting for his sister to finish cooking him a batch of cookies as his reward for helping her with her English homework when a text pops up on his phone.

Jonny 6:43 PM  
u get home ok?

Kaner rolls his eyes and as he’s trying to respond, he gets another one.

Sharpy 6:44 PM  
Need a ride to school tomorrow?

Kaner 6:44 PM  
Yes please

Sharpy 6:45 PM  
You got it

Sharpy 6:45 PM  
Also video games at your place on Thursday, don’t forget.

Kaner 6:46 PM  
How could I forget? Gotta show you guys who’s king at Mario Kart.

Kaner smiles at the texts and thumbs over to finally reply to Jonny’s.

Kaner 6:47 PM  
Yeah

Jonny 6:48 PM  
Good

Jonny 6:49 PM  
my date with T.J. is Saturday. probably gonna do dinner and something else idk

Kaner doesn’t respond to the text. Jonny probably only texted asking if he got home okay so that he can talk about his date. Kaner would rather eat dog shit then engage in this conversation. He clicks his phone off and joins his sister in the kitchen to help.

*

Jonny’s skating late at the rink on a school night. He’s got the keys to the place because he works there, he coaches a peewee team, so he takes advantage of it.

“Why are you here so late?” Kaner shouts from the bench. 

Jonny startles and skates over to the bench. “How did you know I was here?” he asks.

“You’re either here or home,” Kaner answers. “I called you and you didn’t answer, so I called David.”

Jonny nods and drinks some Gatorade. 

Kaner smiles at him, hesitantly. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Jonny puts down the bottle and narrows his eyes. “I saw you yesterday,” he says. 

“Uh no, you didn’t.”

“Whatever, two days ago then. We’re not attached at the fucking hip, Kaner,” Jonny says, exasperated. He’s had too much going on this week, between his dad grinding him about college, his impending date with T.J., team practices, and coaching, he’s stretched thin. 

“Right,” Kaner says. “You hang out with Oshie again?”

“Yeah, I told you I’ve been driving him home,” Jonny answers. “He said he’d come by here tonight.” In the back of Jonny’s mind, he wonders who Kaner’s ride home has been the past few days. Has it been Sharpy? They seemed pretty chummy the other day.

“Is that why you’re here so late?” Kaner asks. “It’s got nothing to do with conditioning does it?”

Jonny sighs at his accusatory tone. “Kaner.”

“What?” Kaner asks, crossing his arms.

“Look, he said he wanted to see me skate,” Jonny says. “I told him I’d be here for a while and he said he’d try to swing by.”

“So, no definitive plans?” Kaner asks.

Jonny shrugs. “I guess not.”

Kaner looks at him with scrutiny. “Maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think, Jonny.”

“So?” Jonny shrugs again. “I can make him like me. Once he gets to know me better, he’ll like me.”

“Right, well, let me know when pigs fucking fly,” Kaner says, viciously. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jonny asks. “T.J.’s never done shit to you.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t get your head out of your ass long enough to see that this is all a joke to him,” Kaner says. “He’s using you to get back at Backes, he could care less about your feelings.”

Jonny flinches. The thought has crossed his mind, but to hear it put so bluntly by his best friend hurts. “That’s not true, he wouldn’t do that,” he says.

“Oh c’mon Jonny, please tell me you’re not that naïve,” Kaner scoffs.

Jonny just stares at him. He’s afraid he’ll say something he’ll regret so he keeps quiet. 

Kaner sighs. “Look, I gotta go. I told my mom I’d only be out to check on you, I gotta get back,” he says with a shake of his head.

Jonny watches as Kaner walks away without looking back. He hates fighting with Kaner, but he can’t understand why he won’t support him in this. Jonny thinks if Kaner finally got a date with a guy he’d been crushing on, he would be happy for him. He would support him regardless of who the guy was because he trusted Kaner’s judgement.

As he’s thinking this, the memory of Sharpy calling Kaner cute and ruffling his hair enters his mind. Jonny shakes his head in an attempt to erase the image. He ignores the empty feeling in his chest that the memory elicits and goes back to practicing shots.


	5. Chapter 5

Jonny’s been trying to do his calculus homework for the past two hours with no avail. He’s at the point where he’s squinting at it to make sure there isn’t a riddle or secret meaning hidden behind the garble of letters and numbers. 

Of course, an easy solution to his pounding headache would be to have Kaner help him out, but seeing as they’re barely speaking, that’s not an option. He’s not as stubborn as Kaner and would have no problem apologizing in any other situation, but he’s not wrong this time around, and there’s no way he’s going to be sorry for going after who he wants.

But he didn’t take into account how much he would miss his best friend and this isn’t even one of their longest standoffs. Calculus homework is not anywhere close to why he misses Kaner. He misses his company and how comfortable Kaner makes him feel when they’re together. 

He drops his pencil when he gets stuck on a problem and groans into his hands.

Someone knocks on Jonny’s door. He jumps to his feet and rushes over to open it, thinking it’s probably Kaner.

It’s not. It’s just David.

“What?” Jonny says, peeved.

“Uh,” David hesitates. “You might want to sit down.”

Jonny looks at him, warily and sits down on his bed.

“I was at the arcade today and I overheard a conversation between T.J. and Brian Elliot,” David explains.

Jonny makes a motion with his hands, telling David to continue.

“Well, they were talking about you,” David says. “T.J. basically admitted that he only said yes to the date because he was mad about Backes and that it would teach him a lesson.”

Jonny feels confused. “You heard that today?” he asks.

David nods his head and keeps looking at Jonny with pity.

“Oh.”

“Sorry, bro,” David says, patting Jonny on the shoulder and leaving.

Jonny’s still for a long time. It’s hard for him to comprehend what he just heard. Had he known this a few days ago, he would have been okay with it, it seemed likely that T.J. only said yes out of frustration over his relationship with Backes. It’s not like Jonny thought T.J. actually liked him while he had a boyfriend or anything. But since he asked T.J. out, they’ve been hanging out a bit, and Jonny thought they were really getting to know each other. He thought T.J. was over Backes and was actually trying to move on. 

Kaner’s right, he’s being used, maybe not as a joke like Kaner thinks, but still in some way. Jonny struggles to swallow at the thought that he almost lost his best friend over all of this. How can he be so stupid? 

When he’s biking over to Kaner’s house, he fleetingly realizes how the thought of T.J. using him doesn’t hurt as much as the thought of losing Kaner.

* 

Jonny follows Kaner’s mom into the living room where Kaner’s playing video games with half of his team. 

“Pat, honey,” Mrs. Kane says. “Jonny’s here to see you.”

Kaner’s sitting on the couch with Bollig, Saad, and Leddy, all of them squeezing to fit. Jonny glances at the TV and sees Kaner’s character veer off the road. Kaner hits pause to look up at Jonny.

“Hey,” Kaner says, tentatively.

Jonny nods head in response and walks over to sit to by Sharpy on the floor. He feels uncomfortable as he watches everyone chirp Bollig after Kaner beats him in the race. He feels like an intruder, like he doesn’t belong. He also feels an overwhelming wave of jealousy travel through his body. He can’t figure out if he’s jealous of Kaner easily becoming friends with his teammates or if he’s jealous of his teammates getting all of Kaner’s attention.

“Hey Cap, you any good at Mario Kart?” Bollig asks, offering him the controller.

“Kinda,” Jonny says, getting up to take Bollig’s place on the couch, next to Kaner.

Jonny crushes Kaner in the next race, despite his stomach constricting every time Kaner’s arm brushes his.

“Kinda, eh?” Sharpy asks when Jonny laps Kaner and takes first place.

“We play a lot,” Kaner explains.

“You’re Canadian?” Jonny asks Sharpy, still caught up on his slight accent and use of ‘eh’.

Sharpy bursts out in laughter. “We’ve played on the same team for four years, bud,” he says. “You only just noticed?”

Jonny flushes in embarrassment and looks down at the controller. “Sorry,” Jonny mutters. 

“I’m Canadian too,” Bollig chimes in. 

Jonny lights up a bit and smiles at them. “Where from?”

They talk about Canada and hockey for a while and Jonny starts to feel increasingly more comfortable. He didn’t realize how easy it was to talk to his teammates. They’re pretty funny guys and haven’t made fun of Jonny once since he got here, he appreciates that.

“So, uh, like are you really obsessed with hockey or what?” Soupy asks. “You seem pretty into it.”

Jonny’s about to growl at him, his go to response when someone takes a jab at him, but then Kaner places a hand on his knee to stop him and Jonny’s brain short circuits. For a few seconds he forgets what’s going on and is only aware of Kaner’s long slender fingers resting on his knee, thumb gently pressing into his thigh.

Kaner must have finally noticed where his hand was because he quickly pulls his hand back as if Jonny’s skin was on fire. 

Jonny tears his eyes away from his knee and looks around the room. He focuses his attention back on Soupy and his question. “I wanna go pro,” Jonny explains with a weak smile. “It’s not just a hobby for me.”

“Shit, man,” Sharpy says. “I didn’t know that.”

“Think you’ll get drafted?” Saader asks.

Jonny shakes his head, “Window’s closing pretty fast on that, but I got a full ride to UND to play and if I can go and do well there, hopefully I can catch someone’s attention.”

“You’re good enough,” Kaner says. 

Jonny suppresses a grin. “You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to say that,” he pouts.

“Nah, he’s right,” Smitty says. “You’re amazing.”

“Yeah, man. Don’t be so harsh on yourself,” Sharpy says. “You might get drafted, you never know.”

The guys start talking over one another about Jonny’s skills and the drafting process. He blushes at all the compliments and feels an overpowering feeling of regret. He’s annoyed at himself for not trying to get to know his teammates earlier. He was always too afraid that they wouldn’t like him and then start treating him poorly on the ice. There was no way he would play in the NHL if his high school teammates refused to pass to him or listen to anything he had to say. It’s pretty clear that he was worried over nothing; they’re a great group of guys.

They play a few more races but when it starts to get late, his teammates gather their things to head home. 

Sharpy pauses before he leaves and turns around. “I’m glad we got to see the real Jonny,” he says.

Jonny smiles, “Me too.”

When everyone is gone, Kaner turns to Jonny and ushers him into his room.

*

It’s weird that Jonny showed up when things were so unsettling between them, but Kaner thinks Jonny’s probably here to make amends. It’s been a few days and he desperately misses Jonny. He’s had a lot of time to think about his feelings and about what’s happening between them. He’s come to the conclusion that he wants Jonny happy above all else, and if Oshie makes him happy then Kaner’s going to have to accept that.

Kaner lies down on his bed and opens up his latest book. He’s determined to let Jonny take the reins on the conversation. 

Jonny fiddles around near his bookshelf, picking up and putting back some books. “You were right,” Jonny mutters.

“About what?” Kaner asks even though he thinks he knows the answer.

Jonny sighs and turns around to look at Kaner. “David told me he overheard T.J. talking about how he only said yes to our date because he was mad at Backes, he doesn’t like me.”

Kaner winces, he didn’t want to be right. “I’m sorry,” he says, truthfully. 

Jonny rolls his eyes and joins him on the bed. He spreads out next to Kaner and crosses his arms under his head.

Kaner closes his books and tosses it aside before shifting to rest his head on Jonny’s bicep.

“I’m still going through with it,” Jonny says.

Kaner stares up at his ceiling. “Why would you do that?”

“I’m gonna take him on the best date ever,” Jonny says. “I’m gonna convince him that I’m worth giving up Backes for.”

Kaner holds back a groan. He wants Jonny to be happy, but going after a guy who has no interest in him might not be the most happiest of situations.

“I’m sorry about everything this week,” Jonny says, his breath tickling Kaner’s ear. “I’ve been a real dick to you.”

Kaner hesitates and then says, “Me too.”

“It’s just,” Jonny starts. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

“What does it feel like?” Kaner asks because he’s a masochist. He tilts his head to see Jonny’s face.

“Like everything in my body’s on fire, just seeing him, even for a second, does things to my heart that I can’t even comprehend,” Jonny says, smiling up at the ceiling as if T.J. is there right now. “It’s hard to describe.”

Kaner forces himself to smile. “You’ve got it pretty bad, huh?” he teases.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jonny whispers as if it’s a secret. 

Kaner rolls away from him and goes to change into his pajamas. As he’s crawling back into his bed, Jonny already fast asleep, he thinks about how all the feelings Jonny just described, he feels as well. Just the sight of Jonny causes heat to pulse through his body and making eye contact or feeling skin on skin kicks his heart into overdrive. He thinks maybe that’s what love is, but he wouldn’t know. No one knows the true meaning of love, it’s arbitrary, but as he curls up inches away from Jonny, he thinks he’s pretty close to feeling it.

*

After school on Friday, Jonny and Kaner go to the jewelry store at the mall with a good chunk of money in hand. Jonny’s saved up a fair amount from coaching over the years, and since he’s determined to go to UND on a full ride, he doesn’t feel as guilty for spending some of the money.

“This is such a bad idea,” Kaner says. “Oshie’s going to think you’re buying his love.”

Jonny rolls his eyes. “I’ll explain to him that I’m not. He deserves nice things, okay?”

“Whatever, even though you’re delusional, I’ll support you because you’re my best friend,” Kaner says and then points at one of the necklaces in the display case. “Get that one!”

Jonny asks the lady to pull it out so that he can get a better look at it. It’s a beautiful, simple gold chain, it’s perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

Kaner helps Jonny clean up after practice with his pewee team on Saturday morning. He had offered to be the chauffeur for Jonny’s date so he came to double check on Jonny’s plans, but got roped into cleaning up after a bunch of 7 year olds. 

He hulls a bucket of pucks into Jonny’s office, well really it’s just a room that Jonny shares with the ice skating and swimming instructors.

“Here,” Kaner says, depositing the bucket on Jonny’s desk. 

“Thanks, bud,” Jonny says as he takes the bucket into the supply closet.

“Everything all set for your date?” Kaner asks when Jonny returns.

“Yup,” Jonny says with a grin. “Can’t wait.”

Kaner nods. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now, he should have just called. He’s about to leave after a long moment of silence when something occurs to him.

“Are you gonna kiss him goodnight?” Kaner asks.

“Maybe,” Jonny says, shrugging.

“He’s pretty experienced, isn’t he? You sure you know how to properly kiss someone?”

Jonny laughs, “I think I’ll be fine, Kaner.”

“Alright, I was just going to work on it with you, but if you think you’re fine then…” Kaner trails off as he starts walking away.

“Wait, wait!” Jonny shouts. “How would you work on it with me?”

Kaner is the biggest masochist in the world because he says, “By kissing you.”

Jonny looks at him with curiosity.

Kaner walks over to his desk and hops up on it. “Pretend I’m hot, or whatever pretend I’m Oshie,” he says. “C’mere.”

Jonny complies and walks up to him. 

“Put your hands here,” Kaner says, moving Jonny’s hands to rest on his waist.

Kaner doesn’t know why he’s doing this, it seems like a horrible idea, but this might be his one and only chance in his life to know what Jonny’s lips feel like against his. Maybe if they kiss, he can get it out of his system and actually move on. There will be nothing left to fantasize about.

“Now lean in,” Kaner says, grabbing a fistful of Jonny’s shirt and pulling him closer.

When they’re mere inches apart, Jonny bursts out into uncomfortable laughter. 

“I don’t have to do this, okay? I’m just trying to help you out, quit being so immature,” Kaner says, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. He goes to get up but Jonny’s hands on his waist keep him grounded.

“Okay, okay,” Jonny says. “Sorry.”

Kaner rolls his eyes. “Oshie probably has moves, so he’ll do this,” he says as he wraps his arms around Jonny’s neck and brushes his fingers at the ends of his hair that’s grown out a bit.

Kaner leans in and kisses Jonny. He keeps his eyes open until Jonny’s flutter close. Jonny kisses him back hesitantly at first but when Kaner pants into Jonny’s mouth and slightly parts his lips, Jonny slips his tongue inside Kaner’s mouth and licks at his tongue. Kaner moans and wraps a leg around Jonny’s waist. 

Jonny responds to the moan by sweeping his tongue across Kaner’s bottom lip and then his top. He moves one hand from Kaner’s waist and lets it roam on his back. When his hand approaches the small of Kaner’s back, right above his ass, Kaner shoves at Jonny’s chest and pushes him away. He can feel himself start to get hard and there’s no way he’s going to be able to face Jonny if he notices it.

“What?” Jonny asks, panting.

Kaner hops off the desk. “You’re good, you’ll be fine tonight,” he mumbles as he goes to leave.

Kissing Jonny was a terrible idea and definitely won’t stop any of his fantasies anytime soon, if anything the kiss will only intensify them. Jonny’s lips were just as soft to the touch as he’s always imagined, but when Jonny really starting using them, they were fierce and rough. 

Kaner’s aware that it’s pretty likely that Jonny knows about his feelings for him. He’s been ragging on Oshie a lot lately, he’s offered to have sex with Jonny, and now he’s practically tricked him into kissing him. It’s pathetic and embarrassing.

“Why are you turning so red?” Jonny asks his retreating back. “Are you okay?”

Kaner rolls his eyes and keeps walking.

“Hey! That was nice, thank you. You’re-you-re cute?” Jonny stutters out, following him out of the office and down the hall.

Kaner pauses at Jonny’s compliment that’s laced with pity. So Jonny definitely knows. He lets it roll off of him and keeps walking.

“See you tonight!” Jonny shouts after him.

*

Jonny’s buttoning up his shirt when his dad knocks on his door and walks in.

“I don’t want to fight again, Jonathan, but we need to talk about college,” he says.

Jonny sighs and sits down on his bed. “Why is playing hockey on a scholarship such a bad thing?” Jonny asks.

“I just want you to be practical,” his dad says. “You’ve always made room for hockey in your life, I don’t want you to get your heart broken if hockey doesn’t make the same room for you.”

“I know dad,” he mumbles. “I know it’s going to be a long shot, but I’ve done so much to get here, it’s not fair if I just give up now.”

His dad sits down next to him and puts a calming hand on his shoulder. “What would you major in if you went to UND?”

Jonny blinks, he didn’t think that far ahead. “I dunno,” he mutters.

“Alright, how about you research it?” his dad suggests. “Think about what you want to do with your life if hockey doesn’t work. When you figure it out, I’ll actually consider letting you go to UND.”

Jonny whips his head around to look at his dad. “Really?”

“Yeah, but you have to-“

His words get cut off by a crushing hug from Jonny. “Thank you, thank you!” Jonny shouts.

“You have to promise that you’ll think about an alternative for your future,” his dad says, sternly.

“I promise dad, I promise!”

His dad stands up and pats him on the shoulder. “You going somewhere?” he asks.

“Yeah, on a date,” Jonny says, shyly. He and his dad don’t discuss his love life all too much. He’s out to his family and friends, but no one ever really presses any further.

“Well, have fun,” his dad says as he turns to leave. “Oh, and make sure you treat Patrick right, don’t forget to open the door for him or pull out his chair.

Jonny fumbles for a response. He knows half of the school thinks Kaner and him are together, but he didn’t think his dad was a part of that population.

“It’s the little things that get them to fall for you,” his dad says, winking and walking out of his room.

Jonny doesn’t see the point in correcting his dad. He goes to comb his hair and lets his mind wander to the kiss he shared with Kaner earlier. It was a little weird, but so so good. He’s attributing it to the fact that he hasn’t kissed anyone in so long. 

He’d have been dumb to miss Kaner’s hard-on and adorable blush during it, but it’s not a can of worms he’s prepared to open. So maybe Kaner’s got a thing for him, it’s possible, but then why would he offer to chauffeur T.J. and him on their date tonight? He’s never taken Kaner for a masochist.


	7. Chapter 7

Jonny swings the door open and smiles down at Kaner. “Damn, look at you,” he says.

Kaner blushes and rolls his eyes. He’s wearing jeans and a dark blue sweater that makes his eyes appear brighter than usual. Jonny feels an odd urge to brush his hands against the material of the sweater and see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“Fuck off, let’s go before you’re late, loser,” Kaner says as he grabs Jonny's keys from his hands and heads over to his car.

Jonny follows him and Kaner opens up the back door for him to get in. Kaner drives them to T.J.’s house and quickly gets out and opens Jonny’s door for him.

“Thanks,” Jonny says thinking back to what his dad said before he left, _don’t forget to open the door for him or pull out his chair…it’s the little things that get them to fall for you_.

“All a part of the role, right?” Kaner says, shrugging. 

That pulls Jonny out of his thoughts. This isn’t supposed to be a date with Kaner, he doesn’t know why that’s so hard to understand. Kaner isn’t trying to be sweet or polite, he’s just playing his part as a chauffeur and driver. 

Jonny walks up the driveway to T.J.’s front door and knocks. He wasn’t that nervous before, but he is now. It’s suddenly dawning on him that he’s about to go on a date with T.J. Oshie. He only has a few hours to convince T.J. that he’s boyfriend material.

T.J. opens the door in jeans and a red button up shirt. “Hey,” he says.

“You look handsome,” Jonny comments, stepping back to let T.J. out and close the door behind him.

“Thanks, Jonny,” T.J. says. “So do you.”

Jonny puts out his elbow for T.J. to take and guides him back to the car where Kaner is waiting in the driver seat.

“Do you know Patrick Kane?” Jonny asks as they approach the car.

“Uh, isn’t that the guy you always hang out with?”

“Yeah, he’s going to drive us around tonight,” Jonny explains. “I don’t know, I guess it’ll make it easier for us to talk and stuff.”

“Uh, alright,” T.J. says, curiously. 

Kaner drives them to a fine dining restaurant whose name Jonny can’t pronounce. Kaner opens up the back door for T.J. and him.

“Thanks,” Jonny says as he steps out of the car. “Want me to bring you back something?”

Patrick thinks for a few seconds, “Yeah, get me the weirdest sounding thing on the menu.”

Jonny chuckles softly, “You got it.”

T.J. and him make their way inside and get seated by the windows immediately thanks to Kaner’s foresight to make a reservation. It’s a date atmosphere inside complete with mood lighting and soft classical music.

It’s awkward at first, Jonny doesn’t really know what to talk about so he tells a story about the time his whole family and Kaner’s came to this same restaurant a few months ago to celebrate Kaner’s early decision acceptance to the University of Chicago and how much fun they had trying to one up each other with their orders on the weird scale.

T.J. laughs politely at the story. “You two seem pretty close.”

“Well, yeah, he’s my best friend,” Jonny says, looking through the menu.

He can feel T.J.’s gaze on him, when he looks up he sees he’s returned to looking at the menu.

“This is way too confusing, I think I’ll just order a burger and fries,” T.J. says. “They have to have that here right?”

“Probably,” Jonny mutters. “I thought you liked fancy things.”

“That’s more of Backes’ thing, I’m not into this stuff,” T.J. says, gesturing around himself.

“Oh, I thought you liked this lifestyle,” Jonny says.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” T.J. asks with an angry tone. “What kind of person do you take me for?”

Jonny’s unable to hold back his own anger, “The kind of person that uses other people to get back at his asshole of an ex.”

T.J. sighs, “Is that what you think this is?”

“Isn’t it?” Jonny asks. “It’s what I’ve heard.”

“Maybe that’s how it started, that’s why I said yes in the first place, but not anymore,” T.J. explains. “You seem like a good guy Jonny and I want to get to know you more.”

Jonny smiles at his honesty. “I’m sorry, I was just hoping I had a chance here.”

T.J. reaches across the table for his hand. “You do.”

*

Kaner tries to pass the time by people watching. He sits on the trunk of Jonny's car and observes the couples he can see through the windows.

His gaze keeps falling back to Jonny’s table where he doesn’t miss the way him and T.J. take peeks at each other when they think the other isn’t looking. He also sees Jonny scrunch up his little nose and throw his head back in laughter, something that only Kaner induces and that Oshie has no right to witness.

Kaner tries to reel in his emotions and keep his face blank as they finish up their dinner and make their way outside.

He opens up the back door and Oshie smiles politely at him before getting in.

Jonny hands Kaner a to-go box. “Some sort of pasta, I think,” he says as he gets in the car after Oshie.

“Thanks,” Kaner mutters, shutting the door after him.

He gets into the driver’s seat and before he starts the car, he glances up at his rear view mirror. 

“Are you both done with the googly eyes part of the night?” he asks, clearly unable to keep his emotions in check.

Jonny’s smile falters and his jaw tightens. “Kaner,” he warns. 

“Kind of sickening to see,” Kaner mutters.

“No one told you to look,” Jonny mutters back.

Kaner starts the car and backs out of the parking lot.

When it gets too quiet a few minutes later, he glances back at the mirror, half expecting to see them making out, but instead he sees Oshie lost in thought and Jonny staring back at Kaner with an expression he can’t decipher.


	8. Chapter 8

Kaner drives them to the community center where the ice skating rink is, along with other facilities like an indoor pool, gym, and basketball court. The center is closed but being that Jonny works there as a coach, he has a key. He usually only uses it to practice before school or sometimes late at night when he feels restless. 

Jonny wants to share this aspect of his life with T.J. Hockey is something that he’s put a lot of effort and heart into and he wants to show T.J. why that is.

When they walk in, they are greeted with cool air and the smell of fresh ice. The ice is Jonny’s favorite place in the world. He’s more comfortable skating then walking sometimes and he’s never met anyone who understands that about him, not even his family, but he’s hoping T.J. will.

Jonny gets behind the counter of the skate rental booth and grabs T.J. a pair. He leads them to the bench and gets his own skates on before helping T.J. with his. 

“How long have you been skating?” T.J. asks.

“Since I was five, maybe four,” Jonny answers as he laces up T.J.’s skates for him.

“Oh wow, you must really love it,” T.J. says. “I mean I know you’re really into hockey, but I didn’t realize it was that important to you.”

Jonny smiles up at him. “Yeah, it’s pretty important to me, and Kaner too actually. He’s kind of a book nerd, so he loves reading about the history of the game and he's likes the stats and analytics part of it. I guess I'm just into playing it, I'm trying to make hockey my future.”

T.J. looks thoughtful for a second before he responds, “I admire that about you. You know what you want and you won’t let anything stop you from getting it.”

Jonny blushes at the implications. He knew he wanted T.J. and he didn’t let anyone or anything stop him.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

He finishes tying T.J.’s laces and helps him up and onto the ice. T.J. wobbles and grabs for Jonny’s hand.

“I haven’t skated in years,” T.J. explains. “I was never that good.”

“It’s okay, I remember Kaner was like this too when I first dragged him out here in like, fifth grade,” Jonny says, smiling. “We’ll go slow.”

They stay like that for a while, wobbling around the perimeter, hand in hand.

“Do you watch hockey?” T.J. asks. “Or is that a stupid question?”

Jonny chuckles softly. “Not a stupid question at all, plenty of people like playing a sport more than they like watching other people play it, but I guess I don’t fall into that category. I love watching hockey.”

“Sabers fan?” T.J. asks.

“The Jets actually, Kaner‘s a diehard Sabers fan and it’s funny, we get into a lot of arguments about one of our teams being worse than the other when in all honesty, they’re both equally terrible,” Jonny laughs.

T.J. has a confused look on his face so Jonny explains himself, “I’m from Winnipeg, my family moved out here when I started third grade.”

“Right, I remember you saying that before. It probably wasn’t that big of a cultural difference when you moved here, Buffalo is pretty close to Canada,” T.J. laughs.

“I guess, I think I was too young to really know what was going on,” Jonny shrugs.

They skate around some more and Jonny even brings out a stick and a puck to show T.J. a few moves. T.J. can’t balance that well without Jonny holding him, so Jonny wraps his hands around T.J.’s waist to steady him as he shoot the puck at a nonexistent net.

T.J. doesn’t put a lot of force into it and the puck slides forward only a few feet. Jonny can’t help but giggle when T.J. grumbles in annoyance and pulls him along to retrieve the puck.

“Try it without me, you’ll probably get a better shot,” Jonny says, pulling away from T.J. and standing off to the side to watch him.

T.J. glares at his stick and then at the puck. His eyebrows furrow in irritation and his face scrunches in concentration, Jonny thinks it’s a cute look on him, although not as cute as it is on Kaner. 

The thought takes Jonny back to the numerous times he and Kaner spent lounging around on their beds doing homework. Jonny realizes he spent a large part of his time watching Kaner do his homework rather than doing his own. He used to think it was funny the way Kaner’s tongue would stick out in concentration and his eyes would narrow as if the homework problems insulted his virtue. Now he’s starting to think maybe was staring for other reasons.

T.J. shoots the puck a lot further this time. He turns around a little too fast in celebration and almost falls. This pulls Jonny out of his thoughts and he rushes over to steady him again. 

“Did you see that?” T.J. asks, pointing at the where the puck is.

“Yeah, much better,” Jonny says.

T.J. smiles at him. “Thank you for showing me this part of you, Jonny,” he says, shyly.

Jonny reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small jewelry box. He holds it out for T.J. to take and gestures for him to open it.

T.J. gently opens it and his mouth gapes as he looks at the necklace. 

“Say something,” Jonny says, as an uneasy feeling takes over his body. Something about this feels wrong to him, maybe it's the wrong time to give it to T.J. or maybe it’s T.J.’s reaction. Maybe it’s T.J.

“I-I can’t take this,” T.J. stammers out, shoving the box back at Jonny.

“But I want you to have it,” Jonny says, the words leave a bad taste in his mouth as if he’s lying.

“Why?” T.J. rasps.

“Because you deserve it,” he says.

T.J. starts to tear up at that and sniffles. 

“Are you okay?” Jonny asks. “Did I say something wrong?”

T.J. chuckles a little, “No, no, just the opposite. David always gave me expensive things, but it was just a way to buy my love, those things never meant anything to him. But that’s not what this is, is it? And honestly, Jonny, no one has ever treated me like you have tonight, that’s the sweetest thing someone’s said to me.”

Jonny’s shocked. He thought everyone liked T.J., whether it was genuine or fake, he figured tons of people treated him kindly.

“Really?” he asks. “Well, you’ll be hearing it a lot now.”

T.J. smiles and leans over to peck Jonny’s cheek. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Jonny takes the necklace out of the box and shoves the empty box back into his coat pocket. He skates around T.J. and clasps it around his neck, brushing his fingers softly over the skin of his neck as he does so.

T.J. turns around and wraps his hands around Jonny’s waist, pulling him in closer. Jonny responds by trailing his hand from where it is on T.J.’s neck to his cheek. T.J. leans in and captures Jonny’s lips in a kiss. 

Jonny can feel relief flood his body as they kiss. This is something he’s imagined for so long and to finally have it happen makes him feel a sense of liberation. But that’s all he really feels. This kiss goes on a little longer and Jonny wraps his own arms around T.J.’s torso, keeping him close. He deepens the kiss in an effort to feel lust or affection by slipping his tongue over T.J.’s bottom lip and into his mouth. T.J. moans softly at that and does the same to him. 

Jonny thinks he hears an odd croaking sound so he blinks open his eyes and surveys the rink as best as he can without breaking the kiss. He notices a figure watching them from the second floor made for extra seating, near a concession stand. When he squints, he can make out curly blonde hair and all that relief he had felt churns into guilt under the guise of confusion.

*

Patrick goes up to the second floor and looks over the rink. He silently watches Jonny and Oshie skate around and shoot a puck a few times. He can’t keep silent when they start to kiss. He doesn’t think they hear him cry out suddenly at the pain the image causes him. 

Patrick tries to focus on the part of him that’s happy for Jonny and amplify it because that’s his role as his best friend, to be happy for him and to support him, not to be in love with him. Not anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Jonny cuts the skating portion of the date short and leads T.J. back to his car after their kiss. When he walks outside he sees that his car is still the only one in the parking lot and that Kaner beat them back. For a fleeting second, Jonny thinks maybe he imagined Kaner watching T.J. and him kiss a few minutes ago.

When he gets to the car, Kaner’s mood is brighter than before. He drives them to their last destination, a frozen yogurt place. Jonny spends the entire ride feeling uncomfortable and guilty. Kaner’s current behavior doesn’t do anything to confirm his earlier suspicion of Kaner having feelings for him. 

Jonny doesn’t know how to act now. If he really thinks about it, he can see himself with Kaner in a romantic way, but he’s spent months chasing T.J. and now that he has a chance with him, he doesn’t want to ruin it.

Jonny’s sure that this is just a phase between Kaner and him. Kaner doesn’t _really_ like him, he’s just attached to his best friend and is confusing his feelings for friendship. Once Kaner gets used to seeing Jonny with T.J. and seeing that Jonny isn’t going to ditch him, his confusion will clear.

Jonny hopes his own confusion also clears soon. He doesn’t want this to be a time where he questions his feelings. He already knows he likes T.J., so pursuing something with him is the safest bet rather than risking it all for a ‘maybe’ with Kaner.

“Want anything?” Jonny asks Kaner as he steps out of the car.

“I’m good,” Kaner says with a seemingly fake smile.

Jonny narrows his eyes at him in an effort to understand what Kaner might be thinking but it doesn’t work.

T.J. slips his hand in Jonny’s and tugs him towards the shop. T.J. settles for vanilla yogurt with sprinkles while Jonny gets half chocolate and half salted caramel yogurt topped with fudge, almonds, and an assorted pile of fruit.

They settle down on a table by the window. From where Jonny’s sitting, he can see Kaner draped over the hood of the car. 

As T.J. tells a story about his last time here, Jonny finds himself being distracted by Kaner. He tries to snap out of it, but when he tries to look at T.J. and listen, his eyes drift behind him to Kaner. 

“I’ll be right back,” T.J. says. “Bathroom.”

Jonny nods his head and continues eating his yogurt. When he looks up, he sees Kaner swat at something, probably a bee, and then scream and jump off the car. He sprints away from Jonny’s view and then slowly returns, hands on his knees and panting. 

Jonny watches as Kaner finally catches his breath and lies back down on the hood of the car before pulling out his phone. Judging by the frantic swiping and tapping, he starts playing Candy Crush. Jonny continues to stare as Kaner’s tongue pops out of his mouth as is usual when he’s really focused.

Jonny smiles to himself. Kaner is just so cute and endearing sometimes, it makes his heart swell with affection.

Oh.

Thousands of thoughts, memories, and moments start swirling around in his head. All of them with one common factor: Patrick Kane. He’s in the middle of an epiphany when Kaner glances up from his phone and locks eyes with him. He gives Jonny a genuine smile and a little wave.

Ohh. 

Kaner’s smile causes warmth to shoot down to his toes. Jonny itches to walk outside and rub his thumbs over his stupid little dimples. And yup, that’s a feeling he hasn’t had for anyone in a while, not even T.J.

Kaner puts his middle finger up when Jonny keeps staring. Jonny laughs and does the same back, but it gets the attention of a mom and her kid a few tables away and he ducks his head as she scowls at him. 

When he looks back over at Kaner, he’s laughing uncontrollably. Jonny rolls his eyes at him and mouths ‘fuck you.’ Kaner responds by frowning and deathly staring back. Jonny recognizes it as an imitation of his face, something he’s seen Kaner do a million times before, but he laughs nonetheless. His laughter must catch Kaner by surprise because his eyebrows shoot up and he grins back. Jonny’s about to flip Kaner off again when Kaner looks at something behind Jonny and then quickly returns to his phone. 

Jonny sees T.J. standing behind him through the reflection of the window and wonders how long he’d been standing there.

T.J. probably sees that they noticed him so he continues back to the table.

“Did I miss anything?” he asks.

“Nope,” Jonny lies.

Jonny feels like he’s bursting at the seams with his newfound feelings. He’s going to see this date through, but once he’s home, he’s got a lot of thinking to do.

T.J. starts talking about his dog and this time Jonny doesn’t’ let his eyes stray.

“He does this thing where when he hears the word ‘food’ he starts whining. It’s the cutest thing,” T.J. gushes.

Jonny feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and ignores it. “That does sound cute,” Jonny responds. “And smart.”

“He wasn’t too bright at first, we spent forever training him, but he’s catching on now.”

Jonny’s phone buzzes again, but this time in rapid succession. 

“Sorry, I think this might be important,” Jonny says, as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees a whole bunch of texts from Kaner.

_Backes is here_

_Fuck he’s here with his friends_

_Dude he’s coming in_

_Jonny_

_Jonnnyy_

_JONNY_

_BACKES IS COMING IN_

_DON’T DIE_

Jonny panics for a quick second, but then sets his shoulders. He’s got this.

Backes and two of his friends waltz into the shop and spot T.J. and him right away. T.J. follows Jonny’s gaze and looks over his shoulder.

“Fuck,” T.J. mumbles.

“Just ignore him,” Jonny says.

“Don’t’ think we can,” T.J. replies as Backes leaves his friends and makes a bee line towards them.

“Someone please tell me this is a joke,” Backes says, looking from T.J. to Jonny.

Jonny grinds his teeth together to refrain from speaking.

“I can’t believe your rebound game is this bad, Teej.” Backes continues. “I figured you could pull at least a seven.”

Jonny rolls his eyes at Backes’ juvenile insults.

“It’s alright, I don’t give a fuck. Have fun with my sloppy seconds,” Backes practically shouts at Jonny.

Jonny’s jaw ticks at his words and he’s up and in Backes’ face before he knows it.

“Fuck you, you cheated on him and expect to be taken back?” Jonny asks, incredulously. “What kind of logic is that? It’s not my fault you let him go. A guy who’s as great as T.J. doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

Everyone in the shop quiets down at their sudden outburst and looks on.

“You screwed yourself over by cheating on T.J., everyone knows now and no one will want you. Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Jonny continues.

The door to the shop opens and Sharpy, Bollig, Smitty, Leddy, Saader, Bur and Soupy all step inside and look bewildered as they take in the quiet room. They spot Jonny and Backes practically in each other’s faces and walk over as support.

“No one cares, have you seen my face?” Backes asks. “I’m hot, Jonathan, anyone would kill to be with me.”

Just as Jonny’s about to lash out on his looks, T.J. stands up. 

“Not me,” T.J. says. “I’m never going to be with you, I regret ever getting sucked into your narcissistic, materialistic, vain vortex. You’re a piece of shit, David, and it’s about time I did something about it.”

T.J. walks over and slaps Backes across the face. The entire shop gasps in shock as T.J. steps back with a smile. 

“Should’ve done that weeks ago,” T.J. mutters.

Backes looks as if he’s about to retaliate but Jonny speaks up before he can. “I’d leave if I were you,” he says.

“Now,” Sharpy growls from behind him.

Backes must realize there’s no way he can take all of them on with just his two friends who are distancing themselves over by the door, so he stomps out of the shop.

“Did you see his face?” T.J. asks once Backes leaves and the other customers carry on talking.

“Yeah, it was like this,” Bur says, as he contorts his face in what he thinks is an imitation of Backes’.

T.J. laughs and slips his hand into Jonny’s. “We should probably head home,” T.J. suggests.

Jonny looks to his teammates to say goodbye and sees them all staring at his and T.J.’s joined hands.

“Thanks for the support, boys,” Jonny says. “I’ll see you at practice.”

“Anytime, Captain,” Sharpy says as he mock salutes. 

He leaves the frozen yogurt shop laughing with T.J. about Backes, but stops abruptly when he notices Kaner hovering in front of the car looking anxious and withdrawn. 

Kaner’s eyes drop down to their hands, just like his teammates’ had. Jonny’s stomach plummets as Kaner puts on another weak smile that’s nowhere close to reaching his eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Kaner feels bile rise up when he glances down at Jonny and Oshie’s intertwined hands. He knew this was going to happen, he didn’t expect this night to go any differently than it had, but the continued visual confirmation still hurts and he doesn’t know when it’ll stop.

From outside of the yogurt shop, Kaner saw how Jonny stood up for Oshie and how his teammates united to support him. Kaner also saw Oshie’s wicked slap, the guy doesn’t seem so bad after all. 

Kaner swallows his feelings and puts on a smile. “That was a hell of a slap, nice work,” he says to Oshie.

“Thanks,” Oshie says with a smile.

Kaner turns to Jonny and says, “He looked mad, you must’ve said some real epic shit to shut him up.”

“Yeah, wish you would’ve heard it,” Jonny says, eyes lingering on Kaner.

“Me too,” Kaner mumbles. 

They lapse into silence while Kaner and Jonny continue to stare at each other. Oshie clears his throat after a while. Kaner’s not stupid, he knows what’s going on. Jonny’s aware of Kaner’s feelings for him and now he feels guilty and uncomfortable.

Kaner wants to see Jonny happy, and if he’s happy with Oshie, then that’s fine. Kaner doesn’t want it to be awkward between the three of them so he’s going to fix this mess.

He looks over at Oshie and apologizes. “Sorry for being a dick tonight, and every time before that.”

“It’s cool,” Oshie says, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s not, but thanks for being nice about it. Here,” he says, tossing Jonny’s keys to him. “I think you guys can use some alone time, I’m gonna get some foryo with the boys. Sharpy can probably give me a ride home.”

“Um okay, thanks for everything tonight,” Jonny says after he catches the keys, he looks like he’s having an internal debate, so Kaner leaves him to it.

“Sure,” he shrugs off and walks past them, into the shop.

He swallows the lump in his throat and goes over to join his friends in line. 

Kaner had a realization as he watched Jonny and Oshie throughout the night. What did he think was going to happen? That he could keep Jonny away from every gay guy in the world? That Jonny would suddenly see him in a different way? It was impractical and Kaner had to accept that. He thinks if Jonny and Oshie were to become official, then he might lose a part of his best friend, but possibly gain another in Oshie. As wrong as it sounds in his mind, Oshie’s a good guy and he’s just going to have to come to terms with it.

*

Jonny stares after Kaner as he walks into the shop. He wants to say something, he wants to tell Kaner about his conflicting feelings. He wants to be holding Kaner’s hand right now, everything just feels so wrong.

T.J. starts talking about how embarrassed Backes must be and goes on about the look on his face, but Jonny doesn’t hear a word, he’s still looking at the direction Kaner went in and longs to bring him back.

He sees movement from the corner of his eyes and looks back at T.J.to see him taking off the chain Jonny gave him earlier.

“What are you doing?” Jonny asks.

“Thank you for tonight,” T.J. says, smiling. “I had a lot of fun, and maybe under other circumstances, it would have worked out between us.”

Jonny raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Uh…”

T.J. grabs Jonny’s hand and places the chain in his palm. 

“I learned tonight that I need to start standing up for myself, and no offense, Jonny but I’m not going to settle being somebody’s second choice. This was never meant to be mine, was it?” he asks, gesturing at the chain.

Jonny curls his fingers against his palm and covers the chain. He feels terrible, this wasn’t supposed to happen. He’s been imagining this date for months and it’s never ended with T.J. saying ‘thanks but no thanks.’ But that’s because he didn’t know Kaner was an option, he didn’t know Kaner could be more than just his best friend. Now that he does know, it’s like a whole other future is right in front of him.

“I’m so sorry, T.J.,” he tries to stutter out an apology. “I didn’t know, I didn’t think-”

“It’s okay, I get it. No hard feelings,” T.J. interrupts with a kind smile. “It’ll actually feel good to be on my own for once.”

Jonny nods in understanding, but stays frozen in place. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say or do now. He feels awkward and the guilt he’s been feeling all night has intensified since T.J. gave the chain back. 

T.J.’s smile widens. “Seriously, I’m fine. We decided at the restaurant that we wanted to get to know each other better, but maybe I need to get to know myself first.”

“Oh, right,” Jonny says, meekly. He still feels unsettled.

T.J. tilts his head towards the frozen yogurt shop and Jonny looks over to see Kaner laughing at something Soupy’s saying. 

“If you’re going to get your guy, I suggest you don’t make him wait,” T.J. says.

Jonny tears his gaze away from Kaner and returns it to T.J. 

“What’re you looking at me for?” T.J. asks, laughing. “Go!”

Seeing T.J. laugh about the situation breaks Jonny out of his anxious trance. “You’re the best,” Jonny says. “I really had a lot of fun with you tonight, don’t think that I didn’t.”

“Yeah, I know, I know, you just wish it were someone else,” T.J. says, practically reading Jonny’s mind.

“I’m sorry,” Jonny says, again.

T.J. shoves Jonny towards the door to the shop. “Stop saying sorry and go get your boy!”

Jonny laughs and leans over to peck him on the cheek. “Thanks.”

T.J. waves him off with a smile.

Jonny’s about to walk into the shop when he remembers that T.J. doesn’t have a ride home. He walks back over to him and says, “Shit sorry. I’m leaving you stranded, um, let me drop you off first, and then-”

“It’s okay, I texted my mom,” T.J. says, waving his phone in the air. “She’s on her way, don’t worry.”

Jonny nods but doesn’t move.

“Jonny, stop stalling!” T.J. practically shouts.

“Alright, alright,” Jonny says, putting his hands up in defense. He takes a deep breath and walks back into the shop.

*

Kaner’s sitting in between Bollig and Saader, watching Soupy imitate Mr. Q. He fakes a few laughs but finds it hard to concentrate when all he wants to do is be face down in his bed and cry or escape into the world of one of his books. He knows he has to be happy for Jonny, but he can be happy starting tomorrow. He thinks he’s allowed a day to be upset.

The door to the shop opens and Jonny strides towards his table. 

“What’s up, Cap?” Sharpy asks.

“What happened to your date?” Leddy asks.

“Can we talk?” Jonny asks Kaner. “Outside?”

Kaner glances around the table. Everyone’s looking like a cross between amused and confused. He sighs and follows Jonny out.

If Jonny confronts him about his feelings or the unrequitedness of them, Kaner doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle it. The thought of that happening alone causes his eyes to well up.

As soon as they’re outside, Jonny turns around and warps his arms around Kaner in a tight hug. Kaner stiffens at the suddenness of it, but slowly returns the hug. He figures it’s some sort of pity hug.

He’s proven very wrong moments later.

Jonny slowly pulls away from the hug, lips catching on Kaner’s as he does.

Kaner’s shocked by the sudden sensation and freezes as Jonny keeps their lips pressed together. After a while, when it’s clear it isn’t some sort of awkward accident, Kaner realizes he may never get to kiss this boy again, so he opens up his mouth and allows Jonny’s tongue to lick its way inside. Kaner groans and brings his hands up to cup Jonny’s face and rub the pads of his thumbs soothingly over his cheekbones. He’s overwhelmed by feelings of shock and happiness. He has no idea what’s going on but he doesn’t want it to stop.

They break away after a while, gasping for air. 

“I’m sorry,” Jonny says, panting. “That I didn’t figure it out sooner.”

Kaner’s stomach plummets for the millionth time that night. “Is that why you kissed me? Because you found out?” he asks. He’s not blissfully happy anymore, it rushes out of him just as quickly as it came in.

Jonny must notice the look of horror on his face because he rests a hand on the back of Kaner’s neck and the other against his cheek. “No, I mean I didn’t figure out my feelings sooner and I guess yours too.”

“Your feelings?” Kaner hesitates to ask.

Hope is a dangerous feeling.

“Yes, my feelings for you,” Jonny says, softly. “I have feelings for you and I’m sorry I confused them for fond friendship or whatever. I’m an idiot.”

Kaner laughs and punches Jonny in the shoulder. “I know your emotional range is limited, so I forgive you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jonny asks.

Kaner shrugs. The real answer is that he was scared, but he doesn’t know if Jonny will understand, he’s never been scared in his life. As long as Kaner’s known him, he’s always gone after what he’s wanted without a second thought. He went after hockey, T.J., and even UND.

“I realized throughout the date that it was you who I wanted sitting across from me,” Jonny explains. “T.J. ordered a burger and I kept thinking to myself that if I took you out to somewhere fancy, you’d order something you’ve always wanted to try, you would have taken advantage of the opportunity and laughed when the bill came around, but you would have tried to sneakily pay for it anyway.”

“You’re damn right I would have,” Kaner says. “A fucking burger?”

Jonny nods. ”Yeah, and at the rink, he couldn’t even skate, Kaner. I kept thinking that if you were there, we could have raced or maybe played a little one on one. We could have held hands and talked and I wouldn’t have had to worry about you falling over or steadying you.”

Kaner scoffs struggles to keep a grin off his face. “What an amateur.”

“And then here,” Jonny says, gesturing at the frozen yogurt shop. “He got vanilla with sprinkles!”

“That’s it?” Kaner asks with wide eyes.

“Yup!”

“What an abomination! That is not how you froyo!” Kaner says, feigning outrage.

“I know! If you were there you would’ve piled on the brownie bits and the strawberries, and then when you’d get sick of it we would trade. He didn’t even offer me his, Kaner!”

Kaner smiles at Jonny’s frustration. “How dare he!” Kaner jokes.

Jonny laughs as he realizes how crazy he sounds. “You know what I mean, he’s nothing like you.”

“Thank god for that,” Kaner mutters.

Jonny smiles at him, fondly. “Yeah,” he whispers. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the chain Kaner saw him give to Oshie earlier.

Kaner laughs out of giddiness once he recognizes it. “I wanted it when I helped you pick it out,” he admits.

Jonny walks around Kaner and clasps the chain in place around his neck. “I think a small part of the both of us knew, then, that it would be yours.”

Kaner looks down at the chain resting against his chest and smiles up at Jonny. “Thank you.”

Jonny rolls his eyes and leans in. “All you had to do was ask, Peeks,” he says against Kaner’s lips.

Kaner blushes at the nickname. Jonny’s teammates started calling him Lil’ Peekaboo the past week, but hearing it’s shortened version come out of Jonny’s mouth makes his toes curl.

Jonny presses his lips firmly against Kaner’s in another kiss. Kaner gets lost in the feel of their lips moving against each other. He pulls away when he hears someone shout, “No fucking way!”

*

Kaner pulls away from their kiss and turns around to look at the commotion. Jonny itches to touch him again and belatedly realizes he can. So he wraps his arms around Kaner from behind and keeps his back pressed tightly against his chest as they watch his teammates stroll out of the shop.

“Finally!” Sharpy yells.

They’re all shouting and talking over each other that it’s hard for Jonny to hear anyone clearly.

He does hear Bollig yell, “I see Captain’s not so serious anymore.”

To which Bur replies with, “He just had to get some action.”

Jonny feels more than hears Kaner laugh at their remarks. “Fuck off,” Jonny says with no heat and pulls Kaner towards his car.

“Look at ‘em walk away, all enlightened and shit,” Saader says to their retreating backs.

Jonny holds Kaner’s hand and intertwines their fingers. It feels a lot different from holding T.J.’s hand; Kaner’s palms are softer and warm. It’s nice. It’s really really nice.

Jonny tries to ignore the uncertainty of their future. They’re going to different colleges, Kaner will be in Chicago and Jonny will be in North Dakota. He chooses to shove this thought into the back of his mind. Things are too new and amazing between them right now that he can’t stress about the future. They’ll cross that bridge when they get there, but for now he just wants to enjoy this moment.

He looks over at Kaner to see him smiling, dimples and all. Jonny’s heartrate picks up at the sight and he squeezes their linked hands.

Kaner looks over at him and widens his smile into a grin. “What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Jonny mumbles, smiling back. 

Kaner rolls his eyes. “You’re so freakin’ weird,” he mutters.

“Right back at ya, bud,” Jonny says, squeezing their hands again as they approach his car.

He crowds Kaner against it and says, “This feels right.”

Kaner narrows his eyes. “Took you long enough.”

“Sorry, Peeks. Let me make it up to you,” Jonny whispers before he closes the space between their lips.

As he leisurely trades kisses with his best friend against his car in the parking lot of a frozen yogurt shop, he finally feels something settle within him.

**Author's Note:**

> i know that last line is sooo cheesy. i'm sorry i love cheese.
> 
> huge thanks to everyone who has supported, commented on, and helped out on this fic along the way!!
> 
> (there might be a lil blurb coming soon about what exactly their future holds - during/post college).
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](http://liveinfurry.tumblr.com/)


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